On the importance of "mishpucha"

I came to Israel on my own. When I came here for the year after college, that is.

Coming back, on aliyah, for real, I knew I was coming home, in more than just one sense.

Although we have no "blood relatives" in Israel, I was given a host family when I was here for the year--people to spend holidays and weekends with, a place to call my own. Many people in my program enjoyed their host families, but few like I did. We were a match made in heaven--I was young enough to be both a sibling and a playmate to all three kids, and old enough that my host parents felt like friends in addition to parental figures. Even when I was in the States, at least every couple of weeks we would talk--catching up, telling me about dance recitals or birthdays I had missed, and since I've been here, I've loved being a part of all of it (when I can make it to Haifa...).

I always knew the importance of family, but never have I felt it more than in the last 3 months, since I've left my own home, with my amazing parents and brother, and an incredible community. So many olim (people who move to Israel for good) go back home because they just can't do it. This is a HARD process. It still remains to be seen whether I'll succeed myself.

But I can tell you that of all the things that have been hard, having a family here has made each of them easier. I have a place I can go anytime I like, where I'm not a guest to be waited on, but a member of the family. Sometimes the kids are in a bad mood, sometimes I go read a book, sometimes we do nothing at all, and sometimes we go hiking, or something else. They had to meet and approve my boyfriend, and they call me, worried, if I go too long without being in touch. Just like any other family. And coming from far away, with no friends or "family" here, that is invaluable.

It's been three and a half years now since we met--I've watched each child turn into someone new and frankly, delightful. And at my host brother's birthday dinner last night, I again reflected on how lucky I am. Making aliyah for me didn't just mean coming home to Israel, but also to my wonderful family here. It doesn't make it not hard, but it's a whole lot easier.

If Israel wants to know how to make olim feel at home, they need do nothing more than give them host families who will love them, take care of them, and make them feel a part of the family. A rent subsidy or arnona discount doesn't even come close.