30 things I’ve learned by 30

Lots of people asked me how I felt about turning 30. I felt lots of things, but one of them was that it gave me an opportunity to think critically. I've been on this earth for 30 years--what have I learned, given, become?

I'm not claiming earth-shattering wisdom, but here's what I've boiled down as 30 pieces of knowledge I've gathered. Here's hoping for many more years, with infinitely more wisdom than I've got now.

1.       True friends are an incredible blessing. Hang on for dear life to the good ones.

2.       A good umbrella is worth the money. Ditto good luggage.

3.       Joy is never, ever uncool. If you’re not delirious with joy watching your dearest friends marry their souls’ true mates, you’re doing something wrong.  3a. When joyful, never be afraid to dance with reckless abandon.

4. What you like and what other people like may not be the same thing. Own that. It's perfectly ok to prefer sour candy and a fine whine to a glass of fine wine or a whiskey sour.

5.       My greatest pleasure comes from seeing my friends happy. Traveling to their weddings, to meet their babies, and to share in their triumphs makes my heart sing—find what makes your heart sing, and invest in that.

6.       Put down the cell phone. You own it—not the other way around.

7.       More “thank you” and “I’m sorry”—and less “I was right”.

8.       Time, distance, or a period of no contact doesn’t diminish the weight some people can carry.

9.       Friends who have known you since childhood know you in a special way that is not to be taken for granted.

10.   Don’t rush when you’re in a hurry.

11.   Find a good, supportive boss who will nurture your career.  If you wind up working for a jerk, make the most of it, and then find your way out.

12. Learn to love time alone, so you always have a good companion.

13.   Take advice from people you trust, but try to not to give advice unless you are asked.

14.   People are mostly doing their best. Try to cut them a break—you never know who’s in financial crisis, or got bad health news, and letting someone into your lane doesn't usually hurt you too badly.

15.   It’s better to be a sucker than a jerk.

16.   The way people treat those who cannot help them and those who cannot help themselves will tell you most of what you need to know.

17.   If you’re lucky enough to have siblings, treasure them. You never know when or how you’ll need each other and you can be each other’s greatest source of support.

18.   Find a loving, kind spouse. This might be the hardest one of all, but once accomplished, makes everything else easier. This is a hard journey. Have patience, with yourself and with others.

19.   Be kind to those who have less.

20.   Find music you love. It doesn’t have to be consistent. My happy place comes from a mix of the Indigo Girls, Carole King, Carly Rae Jepsen, Jack Johnson, and whatever bubble gum pop song is on the radio.

21.   It’s important to be good with money. Sometimes that means being cheap, and sometimes it means buying quality. Try to know the difference. And don’t beat yourself up when you make a mistake.

22.   Read. It will broaden your horizons.

23.   Give of your money and time.

24.   Trust professionals. If you’re paying someone to cut your hair, tailor your clothes or make your house shine, find people you like and let them do their jobs in peace.

25. Being family and sharing blood are not the same thing. 

26.   Life is mainly grey. Be wary of black and white, and people who claim to have answers or know what they're doing.

27.   Learn to take joy in "little" things. A cup of tea, the smell of an old book, a glass of wine with a friend and your favorite sweatpants should each make you smile.

28.   Don’t be smug. The only “don’t” on your list, and an important one. None of us knows how we would do things in other people’s shoes, given their situations.

29.   Simple is good. That goes for friendship, food, wine, and happiness. Don’t be afraid of simple, and don’t worry: life will get complicated without your help!

30.   Getting older is a blessing. Don’t complain about it—those who didn’t have the opportunity would have given anything to be where you are now, be it 30, 60, or 90!